If you think money doesn’t buy happiness, then you must have never owned a dog. No one on earth will love you more, be more patient with your moods, or keep your secrets better than your dog. Dogs are very intelligent and perceptive creatures. They have the uncanny ability to sense our emotions and genuinely care about how we feel. Your dog will join you in your joy and comfort you when you’re in pain. For dog lovers, happiness starts with a wet nose and ends with a tail.
Our dogs love us unconditionally. Your dog won’t wake up one day to realize that they don’t love you anymore— they will wake up because a squirrel in your backyard poses a threat to your security. So how do you put a price on unconditional love? For starters, some breeds tend need c-sections when giving birth. This costs a lot because the lives of the mother and the puppies are at stake. They need 24/7 monitoring and if any complications arise, they require immediate attention. Many people choose a specific dog breed based on what they look like and on their temperament. Some breeds might look cute and tiny, but they may not do so well around children. Also, they have to think about whether or not their chosen breed is fit for their household. You can’t put a huge dog in a one bedroom apartment. So, there’s that.
My aim in ten years is to have a mansion, and dedicate a huge room for my two dogs to play around in and do whatever the hell they want. Also, to hire a personal assistant for each of them because isn’t that what rich people do? Some even have last wills and testaments leaving their dogs millions (like Leona Helmsley).
Wait… I just heard that people with money actually buy dogs who are worth more than my net worth. Okay, that’s cool. That’s a ridiculous expense that I can ride with. Here’s a list of ten posh and meticulously bred dogs that are worth a lot of money.
Basset Hound ($1,200 to $1,500)
Oh my gosh, those droopy ears are too cute! The tenacity of these dogs makes them great companions— you can have a guardian and an affectionate fur baby all in one. Basset Hounds have an amazing sense of smell. So, they’re the perfect dog if you have aspirations to become the next Sherlock Holmes. And yes, if you’re getting a Basset Hound, please name him Watson.
Prices for Basset Hound pups range from $1200 to $1500, depending on the show quality of the dog. It’s a steal of a deal if you’re planning on starting up a detective agency with your dog’s sense of smell as the main selling point.
Bernese Mountain Dog ($2,000)
Look at this big guy! He looks like a smaller version of the St. Bernard! No surprise there, since the Bernese Mountain Dog and St. Bernard are closely related breeds from The Swiss Alps— they’re from Switzerland, so you know they’re big time ballers! Similar to their bigger cousins, Bernese Mountain Dogs are also very gentle and affectionate. They’re happy-go-lucky dogs that are easy to train.
$2000 for pups is the general price, and you gotta have a large area where the dog can run free. Seeing that they’re compact versions of the St. Bernard, I might save up for one just so I can share ice cream with my mini “Beethoven”.
Great Dane ($2,000)
Scooby freaking Doo! I wanted a Great Dane because that’s Scooby-Doo’s breed, not realizing that they’re one of the biggest dogs in the world. I also didn’t know that they had a nickname: The Heartbreak Breed— attributed to the fact that they’re very sweet and easy-going, but can have a ton of diseases throughout their lifetimes. Now I’m sad because— Scoooooby!
Great Dane pups (or Scrappy-Doos) cost around $2000, and you also have to factor in all the other expenses that you need for the breed. But I’m telling you, it’s always worth it to spend some dough on your pal than splurging on other stuff.
Tibetan Mastiff ($2,000)
I think Tibetan Mastiffs look like bears in the form of a dog. As in, cute and cuddly, but can rip your throat out if you make a wrong move. That being said, it won’t stop me from petting one if I see one. Tibetan Mastiffs can be quite stubborn and may test your patience, but if you treat them well, you will gain a friend for life. They’re also human-like, in a sense that they react accordingly to whatever emotion they see from you.
There was news in 2011 from China about a red Tibetan Mastiff costing $1.5 million, so— woof. This breed must really be that difficult to spawn, seeing that 100% pure pups of this breed are extremely rare. Don’t worry, a normal pup can only cost you around $2000 from a US breeder.
English Bulldog ($2,500)
English Bulldogs are so awesome. You can put a bowler hat on them and train them to ride a skateboard. I have a soft spot for dogs that some people think are “ugly” or “scary-looking”. I think all dogs are cute, and that wrinkly faces are freaking adorable. English Bulldogs can be a bit stubborn and lazy, but they’re total attention seekers that always want affection from their owners. So, beneath all the drool and farts, you’re getting one snuggly baby.
The price of an English Bulldog puppy can have you shelling out $2,500. Some people say that bullies are not worth it because they are prone to so many health problems. What? All dogs are prone to health problems! If someone has $2,500 to buy one of these fur babies, they have the $$$ to take care of them.
German Shepherd ($2,500)
German Shepherds are good guard dogs. They’re quite regal looking, don’t you think? Sitting upright, ready to defend you at any time. They can also be quite huge. German Shepherds are extremely intelligent and very gentle with their owners. I also find them to be good running buddies, thanks to their agility. A little pup costs around $2,500 from reputable breeders.
I don’t believe that German Shepherds are losing their popularity as law enforcement dogs. They’re still one of the most trusted breeds, and you can’t beat having history with a certain breed. They’re still heroes in my book.
Chow Chow ($2,500 to $3,000)
Chow Chows are known for looking like living teddy bears with blue tongues. They’re the oldest existing dog breed in the world, tracing their origins in China. Chow Chows are quiet and independent, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not sociable. They’re friendly and gentle dogs. If you want a loyal dog, a Chow is for you.
Chow Chow pups cost around $2,500 to $3,000. I understand why they’re expensive to buy, and even more expensive to take care of. Like damn, Chows have so much hair, you’ll wonder if they’re hiding a much smaller dog within.
Irish Wolfhound (2,500 to $3,000)
Now, this one I’m curious about. He looks like he could be Van Helsing’s dog! I think I want one! Despite looking like it could scare some people, Irish Wolfhound’s are actually sweet and loyal creatures. They’re the largest dog breed in the world, making them gentle giants. Irish Wolfhounds were originally war dogs, making them suitable for all your security needs— possibly.
Irish Wolfhound pups cost between $2500 to $3000, and they actually remind me of Ewoks! Well, minus the murderous tendencies, that is.
French Bulldog ($2,500 to $4,000)
French Bulldogs can be quite hyper and lively. They can be very funny and clown-ish, always pulling stunts because of their innate curiosity. If you think English Bulldogs are too big for you, you can always opt for their French counterparts. They’re small and stocky, but they’re as snuggly as English Bullies.
French Bulldogs take second place for the world’s most expensive dog breeds. Again with the health issues? Well, I’ll say it again, if these people have the money to buy these dogs, then they have the money to take good care of them.
Female Frenchies can cost around $3,000 to $4,000, and the males start at $2,500. So why are they expensive? Because it’s extremely difficult to breed them. French Bulldog moms need to have C-sections at a precise time— too early and the puppies might die. C-sections in dogs are much more expensive than normal delivery, just like with us humans.
Rottweiler ($5,000 to $6,000)
Rottweilers can be a bit scary-looking because of their strong bodies. They’re actually gentle and helpful creatures that completely devote themselves to their owners. I’ve noticed that Rottweilers are the dogs, aside from Pitbulls, that are preferred by rappers. You ain’t a real hardcore OG if your music video doesn’t have a barking and raging Rottweiler in it. Sure, rottweilers are guard dogs, but they’re also loyal and loving towards their owners— so rappers, don’t give them a bad name please.
Rottweiler pups can cost around $5000 to $6000 because they’re bred with show quality in mind— no wonder they’re always starring in rap and hip hop music videos! Rottweilers are also taking over the fashion world because of Givenchy’s usage of the dog’s image on their recent collections.